Tears...and funny after thoughts!

Ok Last night is what I am talking about... We had an uneventful night. Kris went to volley ball practice, I went through the mail, Chad cooked dinner... just a NO T.V. kind of night. Chad and I played a little Wii. We did some reading and basically relaxed. Seems like a good night so far. Well, I get up and get ready to start my STIM meds. I have a couple of changes and new things to do... so I read through the paper and figured it out. Ok first thing is first, I will do what I have been doing. I get my Lupron shot ready... decreased from 20units to 5units... "not much" I think to myself. Pinched my tummy fat to 'shoot up' and after a few practice darting throws... I jab! OUCH! NOT ALL THE WAY IN.... DANG THAT HURTS... SO OUT CAME THE NEEDLE! I busted into tears (probably hormone related). Here comes Chad, whom has never seen me inject. Needle in my right hand, tears streaming down my face, and I am wiping the tiny bit of blood from my first attempt of the night. Chad comforted me and I just sobbed. I tell him that the amount is so small, can't I just rub in on my skin... won't it absorb? Maybe I should drink it... we are talking 5 units! So as I am crying and just being a big unrealistic baby at this point... needle still in hand... I remember M&M's telling me that she thinks of me nightly when it is time for my shot. I remember her telling me she is praying for me... from that I gained strength! I said a little prayer and asked God to please help me... (not like I haven't taken this shot 11 times before). I found strength and peace to relax and dry my face. I found a new location and tried again. This time was easier. I ask Chad to find a location on my lower back for the 2 patches I have to wear now and I popped a baby aspirin. All done! I got another hug from Chad and then went to bed.

This morning I got up and was talking to Kris about my experience last night. She laughed, especially when I told her my desperate thoughts of rubbing it on my skin or drinking it. Yes it was just silly talk!!! I am so thankful that I have my God to hear my cry... and I have friends who are praying for me during this process! Well folks, that is the good, the bad and the ugly of it all. Have a blessed week!